i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
