I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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