I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
