Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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