Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
