I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
