p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
