I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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