You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
