Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
