If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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