I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
