oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
