Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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