Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
