I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
