so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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