So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
