Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
