Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
