So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
