I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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