i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
