I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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