THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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