that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We need a shit load of segways right now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
