I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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