I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
