he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
