I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Then you guys just all showered together...?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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