Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
