So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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