I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
