I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
