And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
