I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
