drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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