Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
