there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
