This girl is more easily done than said...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
