he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
