this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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