ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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