her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
