What a fucking waste of an outfit
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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