dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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