Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
