Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
