I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
