I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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