the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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