Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
